I wanted to take a moment to share something about myself that I struggled with for a long time. I've come to realize that sharing these stories helps others.
Trigger warning: childhood molestation and trauma.
Often we hear about people who've experienced great pain. We wonder how they manage to heal and if they ever truly find peace.
As I write this I can say that through therapy and self discovery, I've found peace again.
Unfortunately growing up, myself and other children were what I perceived as hypersexualized. I will give no details of these occurrences because it's not just my history I speak of. While some look at it a just normal kid stuff, others carried heavy baggage and I do not intend to place my perceptions on their realities. But what started with one generation trickled down to others.
While these things occurred they felt normal. Not malicious. It wasn't until I grew up and was in high school I realized that they were not okay. And it was still nearly a decade before I sought help and counseling through therapy to deal with what happened.
It took me a long time to deal with the insecurities that it left me with. I don't hold any ill feelings to those who were also involved when we were younger.
I've worked so hard to heal and right now I want to apologize to anyone who is left with pain because of what happened. I never meant to hurt anyone. I was a child myself.
Way too often, things like this are swept under the rug. We're left to heal on our own and some never do. It's such a difficult thing to face.
I want to speak out on this as a way to tell others that they are not alone as I've discovered myself. And to stand as a testimony to how, if you work on healing, you can grow and live a life outside of the shadows.
For those who are working to heal here are some resources:
National Sexual Assault Hotline: Confidential 24/7 Support
Resources Specific to Victims of Sexual Abuse
Nation Sexual Violence Resource Center
Joyful Heart Foundation
Resources and Support for Adults Who Experienced Sexual Abuse as Children